(laziness)

HOW many lives has Laziness saved, improved and changed for the better? All of them. You remember the notion that Necessity is the mother of Invention – but you only suspect that Necessity’s mother is Complaint, fathered lackadaisically no doubt by Laziness’s half-staffed wiener dog of apathy. Animals need many things, yet invent next to nothing. Needs themselves are now mostly manufactured, and neediest of all, the whining wussies at the top of the food chain – us, so lazy as to be inspired to fire, to wheel, to bread (digesting uncooked things takes so much WORK, the chewing alone omfg). So perchance it is Laziness that keeps you alive for another day, because you were much too lazy to climb up in-between those crimson arms where perchance you may have jumped. Especially after pushing your bike and luggage up a hill half the day. And your Laziness’s rewards multiply; you nap on the boat, rocked by the gentle undulations of the first mother, you sit at the bar and type lazy complaints on facebook, sipping whiskey and coffee, watching the pelicans dive bomb for treats in the marina back-dropped by one of the seven wonders of the modern world (the crimson wonder, the blood arms, raised to heaven with an ingenious and impossibly huge steal net to catch the angels hiding in the fogs which continually sift through their gazing). The day drips lazily by like an ancient and familiar clogged percolator, filling every room you’re in with caffeinated aromas. The night comes and the full full full moon rises above the city across the bay sending impossible ripples and reflections in a dancing line over the dark water (like a million sharp white electric fishes in an infinitely long navy/ebony halfpipe continuously looping back at one another; yet in the mess of thousands upon thousands of dips and dives not one ever actually touches another). More on this: 3D graphics, you yourself forget sometimes, as beautiful as they are, breathtaking in their art, precise and marvelous in their representation, thousands upon thousands of computer hours pumped in – you remember, watching the simple play of a glowing globe on a gentle sea – are still only trying to represent such things, can never capture the actuality, never will as lazy as we are. How do you explain to the child who has only ever had cherry flavoring what a cherry tastes like, or one that’s only seen the beautiful moonrise rendered (very effectively) in Zelda, Mario, countless other games, what one really looks like? How do you explain it to yourself? Maybe you’ve had too much flavoring, and forget that it’s still just a representation, not a presentation, and that like all things human, representation will always be too lazy to actually present. Only the present is present. The present is a workaholic. It never takes a break.

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